The H💚G

I pull in front of the house, texting ‘I’m here.’

The garage door opens, and my friend says, “If you’re OK with it, I can hug you today. “

I turn to retrieve my jacket from my car and feel tears of joy coming from deep within that gurgle like a new spring found inside and then, gathering momentum, burst up and out. An unexpected response to an unexpected invitation. Pure joy at the simple invitation to be hugged by my dear friend. This inexplicable sense results in unexpected momentary incredible joy.

We embrace for a very long-time, none of that leaning in, maybe-slightly-but-probably-not-even-touching kind of hug this time.  We hug fiercely, as if making up for lost time. We connect so tightly that I can feel the ribs, the shoulder blades, the movement of breath between us, and the joy becomes even more palpable. As if we are together breathing it in. Tears of joy at the physical  and spirit connection between us that stopped abruptly, with seemingly no warning, a year ago. 

I had not anticipated this moment, which made it all the sweeter. The unedited response of an unexpected surge of emotional joy when invited to hug. 

It was in that embrace the significance of touch was brought forth in a new light. A rejoining of what had been missing yet not tangibly recognized and articulated. 

Fast forward two hours, a conversation with a friend who is a physician who shares the awkwardness of greeting new patients, especially parents-to-be now when a year ago touching via a handshake was the norm. Coming off of my exhilarating hugs (there was another when we parted),  I recognize taking away the handshake results in less initial intimacy, taking longer to build trust. 

We can deal with the awkward moments. I know we are not built to be tee-totalers of human touch.  Or even to exist fully with a very restricted diet of human contact. And there are also ways to connect deeply without a hug; looking into the eyes of another is example. Initially uncomfortable, this is a way to connect intentionally with the person in front of you (or on Zoom).

Throughout the past year,  I have been among the fortunate few to hug family members often, especially ‘the littles.’  The hug this morning from a dear friend illuminated vividly how readily humans atrophy without touch. The repression of touch may be manageable for some for a period of time; offset by the atrophy and longing.  

Human touch is a vital way of connecting with the person in front of us. Hugs represent connection and intimacy, a release of boundaries to invite another into our personal bubble.  Hugs extend beyond the physical embrace to invite sharing, a stepping into vulnerability, and accessing this essence of our humanness. As some people are choosing to step back into a practice of hugging or even shaking hands, may this bring forth joy, that bubble of recognition that what was temporarily absent is now present with an invitation to receive fully and embrace deeply. 

As we also remember that human touch is not necessary for humans to be vulnerable, and to feel joy.  If you are looking for a way to effortlessly and intentionally deepen your spiritual journey, join me as a small group of journeyers beginning April 9th for a year long exploration of intention, spiritual touching stones and practices, and vulnerably sharing with one another monthly.