Practicing the Practice
The deadline for writing this blog is a day behind me.
Nothing appearing in my awareness deemed share worthy.
As my body relaxed into sleep, I released the deadline, and the self-imposed pressure of even needing to provide a blog; I surrendered.
And then, this morning, as I am brushing my teeth, it appears. ‘Practice the practice’ is the invitation and the rest flows as this is both present and ignored.
A practice is based on something we have learned and embraced that is knowingly supportive. Official definitions include: “to do something repeatedly in order to acquire or polish a skill, a usual or customary action” and ”repeated performance or systematic exercise for the purpose of acquiring proficiency.”
We are all practicing life. We are invited to repeat the practices that help us practice life even more fully. To show up and keep practicing.
Yet, some days I just don’t feel like showing up. There is a part of me that would like to ignore all the practices that help me be present and instead ditch the practices and allow whatever is happening to be received in a reactive, judgmental approach. So, today I was reminded to practice the practice – on and off the mat.
What are your practices? Are there some that support you during the reactive, judgmental times? Here are some ways practices allow me show up, or not:
Prior to a visit to my family in Minnesota, I was aware of the practice of preparing, of getting ready to be ready. My usual approach is fall pell-mell into the trip – so I am feeling tired when the trip starts. This time, in the days before the trip, I allocate time for creative projects and, with my spiritual director, explore ways to ready ‘come home to myself’ when family dynamics feel in need of a pause. This preparation, plus my embedded practices, allowed the interactions to feel more real and vulnerable. I was able to let go of wanting my dad to make certain choices and instead to show up fully for what is real for him. It made a difference – such a difference. And reminds me to practice the practice of intentionally preparing and to notice when my expectations are invading the experience.
I often find it challenging to show up for the people whom I see most often, including my husband and youngest daughter. So more often than I care to admit, I am not kind or present. My thoughts of judgement swirl and my critical nature shows. This is a pattern that is, unfortunately, not unique to me. We often treat those we care about most with less respect than a person we do not know. So, my invitation is to practice showing up to the negative judgmental thoughts, to the voice that says ‘I’ve heard this story 25 times already; stop living in the past’ and practice curiosity ‘how might I look at this differently, what is really being communicated, what need is not being met’ – to show up to the practice of being with what is with a beginners mind.
In my spiritual practices I assumed that going deep into a specific lineage or teacher meant that all other approaches were to be excluded. Instead, I am finding the conflux of similarities and differences to add richness to the practice. The practice of embracing differences appears.
Releasing a self-commitment shows me that sometimes it is supportive to honor commitments, including showing up on the mat for a class. At the same time, the practice of being in my body, invites me to know when it is important to turn from the class and community for a bit, and to let my body guide my movements into the dark, tight, dense places that can only be shown when the body is allowed to move. To allow the practice of self-knowing to be trusted.
What are you invited to release? To practice? What practices might be showing up to invite the practicing of the practice?
I invite you to share what your practices are, and to mayhaps join me for a guided practice this week, or for a one-on-one exploration as we open hospitality to the person that you are just starting to uncover in yourself.