Graycing: You Are Going to Look Older

‘You’re going to look older,’ was the response. I had just shared a decision pondered for years, but had made seconds earlier as I announced to Teri (the wonderful woman who takes care of my hair) that ‘it’s time, it’s time to go to my natural color.’  We had been talking about this for 3 years. Up until that moment, I lacked the self-confidence to move in this direction. (Disclaimer: This is all about me and there’s no judgment about people coloring their hair or not.) 

So after 14 months the transition to uncolored color continues. Most mirror reflections I welcome. When I question the choice, it invites me to pause and come back to the willingness to own who I am, to stand as I am. It invites me to graycing; graying with grace. This may be a bit easier because there are many role models who wear their gray hair without apology. 

My mom was not one of these role models. One of my challenges is that my dear mother never did go gray. Instead, she had lots of gray hair that she kept masterfully hidden. Upon first meeting comments often were around youth. And she did look younger than her age, right up until the day she left her physical body almost five years ago.  

Mothers have a significant influence in one’s life. Were she living, perhaps we would have discussed it. I took on the mistaken belief from observing her, and from society,  that the younger you looked the better you were. Mom certainly maintained an energetic approach to life and continued to work hard until a couple months until her passing. Sometimes I wonder what her life would have been like if she had allowed herself to slow down, to allow the gray to appear. I’ll never know; I do know for me this journey is about allowing that gray to appear.  I’ve been hiding it for 15 years. Some barely noticeable gray strands appeared in my early 30s. In my 40s, starting a new marriage, my husband observed ‘lots of gray’ and I chose to start coloring. I owned that decision and the one now. While I think he struggles more about me going gray than I do, the comments are received with a different ear than 15 years ago. 

While this decision is not about him or about society, it does require me to stand firm in my choice because it is so visible. It invites me to allow grace to support me.  I think it requires a certain amount of authenticity to show up with gray, sometimes without makeup, sometimes even without those spandex yoga pants that seemingly hold it all in. But this really isn’t about going gray. It’s about being willing to make changes based on what serves me, even when different than mom or husband or (fill in the blank)  prefer, because of the wisdom that comes from time and inner work. 

So one day you just show up and say it’s time! This may be after years of consideration or it may be a heart-lead spontaneous decision. The more often we make these choices the easier they are. We more readily trust the inner compass that guides us and that also invites us to not judge someone else’s decision. Especially not to judge our own when we look in the mirror.

Today, may you make choices that support your true essence with grace  in whatever way those choices appear to you – sometimes large but more often seemingly insignificant. We can allow ourselves as we are… and that makes the whole world more authentic and connected.

What is your metaphor for ‘going gray?’ What are the choices in front of you? How can you make them with authenticity regardless of whether it’s the same choice you made yesterday or different. Give yourself permission to make the choice that serves you in this breath in this moment, and inviting others to make their own choice, for ‘we are all just walking each other home.’ 

Curious about moving more into you?  Join me for an upcoming Pure Oneness Sound Immersion + Yoga Nidra + Gentle Movement experience. As you enter the delta brain wave state and external awareness is suspended, the inner knowing connection opens, allowing deep, authentic  connection. Or, know that I am available to support you individually - just reach out to connect via phone and we’ll determine what best fits you at this time in your life journey.