If Only & When I

How many times have you issued the phrase ‘If only…’?  Or ‘When I’?

I found myself doing this quite often in the past. While I do it less frequently, it still comes up every now and then.

The phrase ‘if only’ represents a resistance to allowing what is present to be as it is. It indicates that there is something that we want to be different than it is. It might be something that happened in the past. Or it could be something that we yearn for in the future. Similarly, often what follows ‘when I’ is about waiting for permission to do something when we or life changes. It too creates dissatisfaction with the moment.

If only…

…the car accident had not happened.

… he/she/they would stop talking.

… my boss would see me as I am.

When I…

…get the next promotion I can relax.

…lose 5 or 10 pounds I’ll feel better.

…have my kids grown then I can live.

The above are but examples…you can close your eyes and think of what your ‘if only’  and ‘when I’ is right now. Then you might take a few breaths to reflect on what life would be like if your ‘if only’ wish were to come true. Or, if the ‘when I’ had already happened. Consider if this represents something that happened in the past that you wish were different, or if it is something in the future.

Using our energy of thought to focus on what is not takes us away from focusing on what is. Some say, within the universe there is a finite amount of energy; energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can, however, be reallocated. This is the practice. To live fully and allow the ‘if only’ and ‘when I’ to be part of the invitation to come back to now.

With practice and attention we can choose to redirect our thoughts to allowing for, and even embracing this present moment. There’s really nothing wrong with this present moment if we allow it to be as it is. If we allow it to be at its purest form.

I’ve been noticing what causes a strong reaction internally; sometimes I wish ‘if only’  reaction were not there. This is when I am resisting the teaching within the reaction, and not allowing the reaction to show me what I am holding on to. While the number of things that caused a reactive thought or action pattern are lessening, they still appear as we are all human. Perhaps this is true for you also?

When we allow ourselves to see our reactive patterns as part of our teachers, when we allow our ‘if onlys’ and ‘when I’s’  to help inform our present, these are  invitations for introspection on this spiritual journey that we are all on.

Personally, one of many supportive practices I find helpful to release mind holdings, and reactive patterning, is to immerse in sound vibrations. These often take me to a deep place of quiet, seemingly thoughtless stillness that helps me live more fully in this moment. During sound baths I may receive images and messages that come from a place of clarity. Sometimes these messages feel welcomed and sometimes not so much. Regardless,  they help me see something I had not yet considered or realized. There are many other practices that invite this introspection; sound is but one.

Consider joining me for a sound bath on Wednesday. You can simply email me by clicking on this link and let me know you’ll be attending. More details are found here.

May you consider that our ‘if onlys’ and ‘when I’s’ really take us away from this present moment. And the only place we can really exist and fully be is in this present moment. I found that recognition to be an important reminder to help me notice when my version of ‘if only’ and ‘when I’ comes up and invite an inward turning.

And, remember, it is a practice… always a practice this life.