Conscious Experience
‘You are the creator of your experience of life.’ Kamini Desai
What’s your response to this statement? Does it make you squirm a bit, as it did me when I first heard this years ago in a training? Or does it seem like just another saying? Or maybe you agree, until something happens that challenges the ease of agreement? Might it demand an internal requirement that feels overwhelming?
Allow me to share two examples of this statement in the past three days.
First, because it happened first (and it makes me look better until you read to the next example.)
At our home, hot water in the shower has become limited to several seconds or none. Given there seemed to be an unproven approach that delivered hot water, I step into the shower at 6 AM, before ground water in the Phoenix area has warmed, to be met with cold water. All cold water within seconds of lathering hair. My initial response was to shudder with avoidance at the anticipation of the rest of the experience. Then, in a flash, what came to me was how fortunate I was to have running water and, shower water is potable. And that changed my entire experience of the cold shower - from dread to almost embracing the cold for what it represented – running water that turns on and off with a simple flick of the wrist. Gratitude for hot water in other parts of our home. And then gratitude flowed in waves as assumptive certainties started to pour in – a place to live, a car that starts, access to food with little or no effort, roads, health, flowers, friends, family, and practices that support, nourish and challenge. Like the reminder that ‘I am creator of my experience of life.’
Just three days later, as probable visitors became actual with no notice, my reaction was stingy and possessive. Thoughts like ‘we don’t really know these people’ and ‘what happened to a text prior to showing up?’ and ‘I’m feeling taken advantage of’ swirled. This was layered on top of a comment made many times about being okay with the home we have as it allows us to host people, to invite an open door. My experience of life these moments was of internal conflict, bumping into my own desire to control whom and when our home is opened, and a sense of recognizable entitlement. Even writing this a few hours after the fact, I feel embarrassed to publicly admit my thoughts. And with this comes a choice – how do I want this experience to create my life? Shall I slink back in shame or use it as a moment to show me (and now you) the importance of consciously choosing what experience to cultivate?
Here is what is important with both these examples – choosing what my experience is of the situation, of life. And then deciding which to cultivate. The first step to change is recognition. Not all that long ago, the lack of hot shower water may have felt like a major impediment to my lifestyle and resulted in me bemoaning this to anyone that would listen – a ‘woe is me’ kind of approach to life. The second situation would have resulted in being cool and less than welcoming to our guests. In both situations, I’m invited to recognize shifts and changes and also the gaps that invite introspective noticing. It humbles and reminds me of the journey that we all are on.
One of the disciplines that continues to inform the deepening recognition that while I do not control what appears in my life, I DO decide what my response is, and what my experience of life might be, is that of yoga body psychology or I AM Yoga Therapy™. If you’d like to learn more, in addition to offering private sessions, two six-week experiential offerings begin soon. One is online – starting Tuesday, April 5th at 11:30 AM Pacific Standard and the other, live at Metta yoga studio in Phoenix, beginning April 6th from 5:30-7:30 PM. Both series will be invite you to hone your receptivity to hearing the messages of your body. Please reach out for a free 15-minute consult if you’re wondering if this is for you.